And on the seventh day…

…he rested. One week after he was admitted to the hospital, my friend and co-worker died at 5pm (CST) this evening.

Last Monday he was admitted to the hospital for a suspected heart condition. Tuesday he was diagnosed with cancer (later confirmed as stage 4). Over the last few days, he was in and out of the ICU.

He was kind and generous with his time and his talents. I especially appreciated his quirky sense of humor at the office – one of only a few people I could always count on to laugh at my cheese ball jokes.

He was a “let go and let God” kind of person. He had a very strong and steadfast faith – a wonderful example to others. I am confident he clung to his faith through those final hours, drawing strength and comfort. I have no doubt he is in heaven tonight with his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, but he will be greatly missed.

May God grant peace and comfort to his wife and three children.

If I were a rich man...

...all day long I'd say, "When did I turn into a dude and where did all this money come from?"

Or maybe more accurately, "Woo-hoo! Money! But where the heck did *this* come from?"

Touchy subject
I have to say something about this whole Iowa Lottery Touch Play controversy. For those of you unfamiliar with the topic, Touch Play are lottery machines that play like slot machines. The state has allowed local businesses (gas stations, grocery stores…etc…) that currently sell lottery tickets to have these “pseudo” slot machines in their stores. No one under 21 is allowed to play so the machines are roped off and there are signs posted, but they are still in plain view to anyone else, usually right by the cash register.

Several complaints have been filed; some from recovering gambling addicts who walked unknowingly into the stores where the machines were located. They say the machines are so much like regular slot machines it caused them a great deal of distress and in some cases were responsible for set backs in their recovery.

Click here to see the Touch Play machines

Other complaints come from parents who don’t want their kids exposed to what they say amounts to gambling in a public place. Lawmakers are now discussing increasing fines for minors who are caught gambling.

Task force targets retailers, minors for underage gambling

The truth hurts
Now I feel bad saying this because I know people who work for the Iowa Lottery, and if the lottery took a hit they would certainly feel it as well. However…

1. The Touch Play machines are slot machines and should not be in grocery stores and gas stations.
2. The lottery itself, while a cash cow for the state, is simply a tax on the poor and has few if any social redeeming qualities.
3. I’m sorry that businesses now depend on the increased revenue from the machines, but someone really should have thought this through a little more. Instead we are now having to increase the fines for underage gambling, and create a whole new batch of silly rules to try and create “buffer zones” around the machines.

In the interest of full disclosure, yes – I have bought an occasional lottery ticket (estimated 5 tickets in 10 years). I’m not saying we need to dump the entire lottery system but somewhere along the way the Touch Play machines crossed an invisible line. Was walking to the counter and buying a lottery ticket so inconvenient? Do we really need a Las Vegas casino atmosphere in every gas station and grocery store?

No – I don’t have a lot of dollars in my pocket but am I the only one with any common sense?

Touch Play logo from www.oasisgamingusa.com

A second helping of Lime Jello Marshmallow Cottage Cheese Surprise
So much to say…so little time.

Evil milk man steals milk money...and then lies!!!
Here's your daily dose of irony with a glass of milk to wash it down.

Ames, Iowa — A milkman who claimed in January that he was robbed outside of a school in Gilbert at 5 a.m. has admitted to police he made up the report in order to pocket money that belonged to his company, sheriff's officials from Story County said Monday.

Story County Sheriff Capt. Gary Foster said Brian Haferbier, who worked for Anderson Erickson Dairy Co., turned himself in Monday morning on charges of theft and filing a false
report.

Haferbier had said he was robbed by a person standing beside
his truck after he delivered milk in Gilbert, Foster said. Haferbier told
authorities he lost $350 of his own money and about $260 that belonged to the company, Foster said.

Source article

Woo-hoo!!! Idiots and the insane will still be allowed to vote in Iowa!
Here’s a long and boring article about two Iowa politicians going through the usual election year political posturing. But look carefully - the real story is in the last paragraph. Good news for me, eh?

Iowa Secretary of State Chet Culver repeatedly dodged a question Tuesday about
why his office made a mistake that will leave the outdated words "idiot" and
"insane" in the Iowa Constitution.

Culver, who appeared in a Des Moines campaign debate with two fellow Democrats running for governor, was asked three times about the mistake in a testy exchange with candidate Michael Blouin. Blouin said he wanted to know how Culver's office missed one of its primary responsibilities, which is publishing proposed constitutional amendments so they can be placed on the election ballot.

Iowa legislators had agreed in 2003 to strike the words "idiot" and "insane" from the Iowa Constitution, replacing them with the more socially acceptable term "mentally incompetent" when referring to certain people banned from voting.But Culver's office failed to publish a notice of the proposed changes in 2004. In addition, Chief House Clerk Margaret Thomson's office was required to publish the amendment in its entirety in the House Journal, but it was only published in part.

As a result, the proposed constitutional amendment won't be on Iowa's election ballot for consideration by voters this November.

Source article

Shadowland
Thank you for all of your kind words regarding my co-working. They are still doing tests to either confirm or rule out the initial diagnosis of cancer. We’ll know more by the end of the week.

Jello picture from http://www.displayit-info.com/food/dessert7.html

The Valley of the Shadow of Death…

Today was a bad day…a very bad day. I found out a friend and co-worker has cancer. That’s all we know. No word on how severe…no idea of what tomorrow will bring.

Psalm 23
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort
me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Son of a taco

Joe Pesci was right…

In what can only be described as a bizarre case of “drive-through rage,” police are looking for a man they say vandalized a bathroom at a Mexican restaurant after accusing employees of putting hot sauce on his taco.

Customer got hot over hot sauce

Council Bluffs, Iowa — Police say two people in a red 1994 GMC Jimmy drove through the drive-thru at Taco John’s about 8 p.m. Friday. After they received their food, they pulled over in the parking lot and one of the men walked into the restaurant and began yelling at employees for putting hot sauce on his tacos, police said.

An employee told the man that the restaurant doesn’t put hot sauce
on any of its tacos, and the man walked into the men’s bathroom and cracked the tank on the toilet, police said.

Source article

The story reminds me of a Dr. Demento radio skit called Fast Food. I’ve also heard it called Son of a Cheeseburger (hence the title of my post). I looked for an mp3 file so I could link to it but I couldn’t find it.

I want a double cheeseburger, onion rings and a laaarrrge orange
drink!

Funny stuff!

Lime Jello Marshmallow Cottage Cheese Surprise (burf!)

This post is a Lutheran potluck because it has a little bit of everything. If you're curious about my title, it's the name of a funny song from A Prairie Home Companion.

Salads and appetizers
Work – I've been suppressing a primal monkey scream all day and it’s not over yet. Work followed me home for the weekend. Nothing major but I was really hoping it would be over by now.

It be cold outside - actual temperature today was 10 degrees with a windchill of
-10. That’s somewhere between Dang! And Unngggghhh! on my weather scale. See previous December post.

Darling mother-in-law comes back from vacation tomorrow. I'm sure she will expect us to drop everything and rush right over (or her over here) so she can see darling daughter because, after all, it’s been a whole (mock horror) 6 days since she saw her last!!!!!!

Main courses
I am going to a scrapbook retreat all day tomorrow. I need to get my stuff organized tonight so I can make the most of my time over there. Ahhh! - scrapbooking! What is it about cutting up bits of paper and arranging photos on an album page that is so satisfying?

I will finally have time to pick up my contacts tomorrow so I will no longer be mistaken for a granny. (one can only hope)

Here's some perspective for you. It was announced this week that a tour guide was arrested for “child stealing” at the Iowa Capital Building – he swiped the kid while he was giving a tour. The legislature wasn't informed of the incident and the tour guide’s arrest for 11 days. THIS was important for the public to know right away; the 18 hours Vice President Cheney delayed telling the press of his hunting accident was not.

Officials defend abduction report lag - The Iowa Department of
Public Safety on Thursday defended its decision to wait 11 days before notifying the public of a child abduction at the state Capitol.

Another thing - what's with this “child stealing?” I've heard of “child abduction.” Is this a lesser charge? Is there such a thing as “child borrowing?” Would that be an even lesser charge than “stealing?”

Desserts
I've had the Janet and Brad song from The Rocky Horror Picture Show and the poem, The Tiger (…you know…tiger tiger burning bright in the forests of the night…) stuck in my head at different times today. What's up with that? Must be my Mommy Brain efficiently processing vast amounts of information.

Ugh! Stick a fork in me, I'm done!

Gross jello picture from http://www.swankola.com/md/jello/jell01.html

News no one cares about

Saddam Hussein’s announcement of a hunger strike this week was greeted with a collective yawn from the international community. Hussein began his strike to protest the strict rules chief judge Raouf Abdel-Rahman has imposed on the court since he took over last month.

"For three days we have been holding a hunger strike protesting against your way of treating us — against you and your masters," the former Iraqi leader said.

Abdel-Rahman has tried to impose order in a court where outbursts and abuse, mostly by Saddam and his former intelligence chief and half brother Barzan Ibrahim, have often overshadowed the proceedings. The disruptions led to criticism of Abdel-Rahman's predecessor, fellow Kurd Rizgar Mohammed Amin, for not doing enough to rein in the brothers.

The day's session began with Saddam entering and shouting his support for Iraqi insurgents. "Long live the mujahedeen!" he yelled. Later, during the testimony, he shouted, "I say to all Iraqis, fight and liberate your country!"

Click here for source article

Considering what Hussein did to his own people - torture, rape, genocide - does anyone really care if he's on a hunger strike?

The Deposed Dictator Diet

On a positive note, after three days of refusing food Hussein has finally dropped those few vanity pounds he’s been trying to lose since his capture. He shows off his new svelte figure in the picture below.

Eat your heart out Kate Moss!

Photo from Dr. Tricky’s Kung Fu Lounge

Cheney – armed and dangerous

I’ve been thinking up one-liners all day about Cheney’s hunting incident, but this tops everything I came up with.

Picture from http://www.boingboing.net/2006/02/13/ten_ways_dick_cheney.html

When worlds collide

And so ends another horrible week at work; one, maybe two more weeks before things let up. It’s time like this I wish I kept cyanide capsules in my desk. One more stupid question, one more last minute change, one more moronic request and I could reach into my drawer, grab a little white pill and check myself out.

This is all an exaggeration of course (I would never really do this) but adequate to explain my current frustration. This is a busy time of year for my department. Everyone is expected to put in the extra hours needed to do the job. I’ve worked through lunches and my workout schedule is a shambles.

It stinks but what can I do? It only lasts for a few weeks. If it was year round, then that would be a different story. I’m always willing to stay late or take work home when I have to but it’s different when you have a kid. You can’t be in two places at once. Something will always have to give. This is when my work world collides with my family life.

Darling husband is in graduate school two nights a week (two nights in a row I might add). Those are nights where it is physically impossible for me to stay late at work because I am the only one who can pick up darling daughter from daycare. I can take work home with me (most of the time). There are some things that can only be done at work. The problem with taking work home is by the time I get dinner on the table and then darling daughter to bed I’m wiped out. Stick a fork in me, I’m done. The last thing I have energy for is to fire up the computer and put in another couple hours.

The women inside my head
A lot of women live inside my head. I don’t think I need to explain this – don’t all women have other women living inside their head?

Anyway – the problem is I feel like my Murphy Brown has got my Donna Reed in a headlock. Murphy wants to do a good job at the office, impress the hire ups and enjoy all the monetary rewards and recognition hard work brings. Donna aches to spend time with her daughter knowing full well the child won’t be 3 ½ forever. She understands that being a good wife and mother is worth more than a six figure salary, the corner office or ride on the company jet. She wants to return to the simpler things (not easier, just simpler).

The wife of noble character
Wouldn’t it be great if I could get these two women to work together instead of working against each other? I haven’t quite figured out how to do this yet. But it’s something I think about. Read Proverbs 31: 10-31 and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

The woman in this passage had it all – a strong Christian, loving wife and mother, good homemaker and a very shrewd business woman. That’s what I want to be – or at least as close as I can get. Not sure if I could ever master the sewing part – I can barely sew on a button – but maybe the rest I could do. I’ve got to get through the next couple weeks first and to do that Murphy is going to have to rule the roost for awhile…(…sigh…)

Hang in there Donna...it will be your turn again soon.

WAAAAHHHH?!?!?

So I'm out on Saturday running errands with darling husband. Darling daughter is spending the day with Grandma. I have my glasses on (need to buy more contacts) and I skipped the makeup routine; it's Saturday so who cares, right?

We stopped by a beauty supply store to buy shampoo. At the counter, I see cute little bottles of nail polish and it reminds me that darling daughter has been asking to have her nails painted. On a whim, I pick out a color and say to hubby, "E has been asking for nail polish. It will be a good mommy/daughter activity." The woman behind the counter agrees with me and I politely add, "She's three and a half." To which the clerk replies, "Your granddaughter?"

Are you kidding me?!?!?

I wanted to lunge across the counter, grab her by her frosted blond head and scream, "I'm only 30-freakin'-five!" What came out of my mouth was a startled, "No - she's our daughter!"

Granted - if I'd gotten pregnant at 15, I could have a 20 year daughter who could potentially have a child of her own so I guess physically I am capable of having had a grandchild by now but thank heavens my life didn't take that turn. I'm wondering if she assumed as much because I said "a nice mommy/daughter activity."

Darling husband thought it was hysterically funny and laughed all the way home. I know I couldn’t pass for 22 any more but I didn’t think I looked like grandma material yet. I guess I'll think twice about leaving the house without makeup and wearing my glasses. :-(

Quick hits

Howdy folks! Sorry for the long gap between postings but I’m “back in the saddle again.” While I’m half watching the Super Bowl, here are a few “quick hits” of things from the last week.

My secret shame
I need to confess a deep dark secret. I love games - board games, card games – all fairly innocent but I also love computer games. I know – 35 year old mothers should not love computer games.

I don’t play them very often – until this week, I hadn’t played one for about a year. The reason for the long gaps is because when I do play I tend to binge. The obsession only lasts for a few days and then I won’t play again for months. It’s not like I go on a 24-hour bender – I just spend what free time I do have doing nothing but.

The object of my obsession this week is a new computer game I bought with some birthday money. It’s called Pirates! There’s nothing like a little pillaging to make you forget the stresses of the week. But like most of my game obsessions the fever is already beginning to pass so I guess it’s back to reality. Darling husband will be happy – he’s tired of having conversations with me where I’m only half participating.

Big mouth
Here’s another confession. I have a big mouth. I talk too much and too loudly. I’ve had this affliction all my life. I come from a family of talkers. Too make matters worse, I get overly animated when talking about things I feel strongly about – talking with my hands is a must.

Some of my most embarrassing moments have been when someone has criticized me for being too loud or too talkative. Or worse, when I said something and immediately regretted it - the joke that fell flat, the occasional Freudian slip, or the unintentional insensitive remark. There’s a little filter between my brain and my mouth that catches all the stupid or bad things my brain tells me to say; most of the time it works but “filter failure” does occur more often than I would like.

I was reminded of all this again this week when a co-worker came and told me I was too loud on a conference call. She was really nice about it so it’s not like she was mean or anything but it made me feel really bad. I thanked her for letting me know and told her I’d try to keep it down.

We have a cube environment at work so we all have to be aware of our decibel levels as well as exercising a lot of tolerance. But now when I go to work I’m paranoid. Who else is annoyed with me for being too loud but hasn’t said anything? Darling husband thinks I’m obsessing and I should forget about it. He’s right of course but I always over analyze these things…sigh…

Odds and ends

Just a couple quick observations …

1. Isn’t Cindy Sheehan’s 15 minutes of fame up yet?

2. To the Muslims rioting over the Muhammad political cartoon – If you don’t like your beloved prophet being portrayed as a terrorist, than maybe you should stop being terrorists. Just a thought...

3. To the Canadian government – please give your border guards guns. All of us down here would really appreciate it.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/cpress/20060126/ca_pr_on_na/us_cda_border

4. To Michael Moore – if you hate it here so much, then why don’t you move to Canada? Whoops! They just elected a conservative government. Well, I guess there’s always Venezuela. I hear Cuba’s nice this time of year.

5. To Coretta Scott King – rest in peace.

6. To the Flying Mango restaurant in Des Moines – you guys are great! We’ll be back!