Send in the clowns!

Just a quick post to let everyone know Darling Daughter and I will be marching in clown in the Drake Relays parade this Sunday (April 20). The parade starts at 2 p.m. - not sure where it officially starts yet (guess I should figure that out) but it does one lap around campus.

Daughter is really excited! This will be her first time clowning with me. She's going to do the "invisible dog on a leash" gag.

I'll be the clown in the pink hat!

Snookie's

Yes - we were crazy to go out in a snow storm to stand in line for an ice cream cone....but not as crazy as the people who camped out in line in a tent the night before.

Snookie's Malt Shop opened for the season at 11 a.m. Saturday morning and we wanted to be one of their first customers. Why? They take pictures of their first customers and display them in the window the rest of the season. We wanted to be on the coveted poster board!


We weren't alone - the aforementioned campers (two tents of people actually) beat us to it. We were there at 10:45 a.m. and by 11 a.m. there were about 20 people standing outside with flurries coming down around them waiting for their ice cream.


I'm not sure exactly what makes Snookie's ice cream so good - the killer chocolate malts? The animal cookies they perch on top of every cone? I think maybe it's the small town ice cream parlor feel. It's not Dairy Queen - and anyone who goes there doesn't want it to be.


Snookie's opened the doors to their small cafe area and we all crowded in, grateful to be out of the cold. We grabbed a booth while we waited for our friends to show up. The rest of the customers crowded the counter and ordered their treats. The owners were all smiles - as happy to see us as we were to see them. And yes, they did take our picture! I hope we make the poster board. Take a look next time you're at Snookies - you might see us in the window!

Snookie's is number 71 on 100 Things You Must Do in Des Moines

Clown therapy

So I admit I’ve been a little cranky lately.

BLOG READER: (spit take) Cranky? I didn’t notice.

DMG: Okay…so maybe cranky isn’t the right word. Irritable? Crabby? Grouchy? Whiney? Bit…

BLOG READER: BINGO!!!

With work being a nightmarish soul-sucking experience and winter dragging on and on and on thanks to all this global warming, my mood has been less than cheerful. So when the opportunity came up for me to do some volunteer clowning, I jumped at the chance.

Thursday night a clown buddy and I clowned at my church’s Family Fun Night to raise money for the pre-school program. It’s amazing what two hours of general silliness, balloon twisting and cute kids can do for a person. I even had some kids recognize me from last year.

Had a little difficulty finding my groove – went through a stretch when I couldn’t tie a balloon to save my life. As things picked up, my patter and my balloons got better. Acting goofy is never a problem. Once you put on the clown make up and walk around in public, there’s nothing that will embarrass you.

By the end of the night I was really tired but my mood was better than it had been in weeks. I’m trying to line up some more clown gigs. With the weather getting nicer and parade season picking up, there should be lots of opportunities.

TIWIWTJSF?

The above is a new acronym I invented -

This Is What I Went To Journalism School For?

Work has been a little better but the malaise passes slowly. I've been able to spend more time on projects I enjoy and not so much on the ones that were ticking me off. More good news - I had lunch with a friend today who gave me good advice and a good laugh.

It doesn’t matter…

One would hope we all are blessed with meaningful, fulfilling work – work you can be passionate about; work that excites you; work that has you rising eagerly from your bed each morning with an I-can’t-wait-to-get-started attitude. But alas, that is not always the case.

I am going through a spell at work right now where I have lost my passion. Work at best is meaningless and at its worst, stupid and irritating.

I’ve taken to amusing myself with little things – things that don’t matter but might give me a small chuckle at some point during the 8-9 hours a day my soul is slowly being sucked from my body. When that fails, my mental iPod plays show tunes (I don't know why - it just does). Below is a current fav.

So help me out – what do you do when you’ve lost passion for your work?

Grinding mill

Heather Mills just scored $48.7 million in her divorce settlement.

Paul McCartney Ordered to Pay Heather Mills $48.7 Million to Settle Divorce

Sounds like Sir Paul was a jerk but from what I've read she's a psycho shrew. Maybe they should have stayed married - they sound like a lovely couple.

So what do you think Heather should buy with her new millions?

Therapy? A gold-plated leg?

Bad Day Part II - Find the Funny

I have a philosophy - When something bad happens to you if you can tell the story to someone in a funny way and it makes them laugh, then it must not have been that bad to begin with. I call it "finding the funny."

I can't tell you what happened this week that made me so mad. And unfortunately, I have yet to "find the funny" in my current situation. I did, however, find this video.

glumbert - Bad Day at the Office

Bad day

It's a bad day when the only thing keeping you from flipping the bird and walking out is your dependency on your paycheck.

This song says it all.



Daniel Powter Lyrics
Bad Day Lyrics

Answering the burning question, What happens to all our crap?

The National Geographic channel has done it again - created a philosophically stimulating and visually entertaining program based on a completely pointless premise. Aftermath: Population Zero looks at a world where humans no longer exist. No explanation as to what happened to us - just poof, we're gone, and we left all our crap behind.

Without humans to build and fix things, the viewer watches civilization slowly disappear - plants and animals invade cities, buildings decay and collapse, monuments crumble.

The visual effects are cool - like when the Statue of Liberty loses her head. It is the ultimate disaster flick. But throughout the program I kept asking - "What's the point?" The only answer I could come up with is someone wanted to create a program that would make radical environmentalist squeal like giddy school girls.

The program seems to say, "Look how much better the Earth is now that humans are gone!" Humans are the scourge, the virus, and once we're gone Mother Nature slowly reclaims the Earth for her own by breaking down manmade materials and scrubbing the world clean.

When I was a kid, my parents told me to make sure and turn off the lights and don't waste water. Keep America Beautiful and Don't be a Litterbug were the slogans of the 1970s.

Later it became reduce, reuse, recycle. Okay - fine, I can do that.

But then things took a turn. Somewhere near the corner of "Lunacy" and "You've Got to be Kidding Me," Al Gore introduced us to the term "Carbon Footprint" and told us we all needed to know what size it is (I don't even know my bra size). Empty headed celebs recommend using only one square of toilet paper while other do-as-we-say-not-as-we-do-limo-lib elites tell us to change our lifestyles or buy carbon offsets. Sheesh....

But now with programs like Aftermath, we've reached the ulitmate and natural conclusion, the negation of the negation as it were. If we truly love the Earth, if we are truly environmentalists and say we put the planet first before our own destructive needs, we must make the ultimate sacrifice, a monumental coup de grace. We should all just off ourselves so Mother Nature can reclaim what is rightfully hers.

Eh? I don't think so.

Still sucking but hope springs eternal

I wanted to add to my “February sucks” list below…until the biggest suck of all came along.

14. Computer on the fritz – technological suck

Desperate but not serious
I’ve been without my beloved laptop for a week! You were going to have to talk me off the ledge if my technological abstinence had lasted much longer.

I’m up and running again – no longer living like the Amish - although the computer still seems a little slow – maybe my imagination. I’ll try to find something interesting to post soon. I’m still reveling in the miracle that sits on my lap and connects me to the rest of the world.

Later!

February sucks

Sorry for the long silence. What can I say? That giant sucking sound you hear is the month of February. Good thing it’s a short month.

Let’s review –

1. Water damage in bedroom – sucked (damn ice dam on the roof)
2. Had to live like nomads in our own house while contractor repaired water damage – chaotic suck
3. Weather – sucks (or rather sucking)
4. Too many changes at work - major suck
5. People who annoy me - a veritable suck fest
6. Had to move to a new office - packing sucks
7. New office is smaller – big suck
8. Car needs new tires – driving in winter sucks

Only four more suck filled days until March. (…sigh…)

UPDATE:

9. Food and gas prices - budget busting suck
10. Tasty yet overpriced chinese food with lousy service - birthday suck (technically a late January suck but close enough)
11. Can't keep enough washer fluid in the car - can't see where I'm going suck

MORE UPDATE:

12. The "Speedy Checkout" at Walmart is anything but - get your damn stuff and get out suck
13. Slipped on the ice on the back steps and scraped my leg - that !@#$%@! hurt suck!

Milestones

Tomorrow Baby Boy is officially 6-months old. When he was born, my goal was to breastfeed for at least six months and it is with mixed emotions I am now crossing this goal off my list. It is the same goal I set with my daughter (we made it five and a half). In both cases, my production just didn't seem to hold up. My cup does not runneth over.

Side note
When I was first experiencing production problems with my daughter, I was in a group of new mommies discussing breastfeeding. The group knew I was struggling and having to supplement. One woman, in a moment of social amnesia, went off on a tear about the appalling state of formula and compared it to poison. Suddenly aware of my presence, she tried to recover with a quick, "Oh...well...they are fine if you HAVE to supplement..." I smiled without comment and quietly excused myself.

Shortly after returning to work this fall, I had to begin supplementing with formula and it's been a struggle ever since; pumping up to three times a day at work during my peak and still barely meeting or more often coming up a little short of filling three bottles for the sitter. And even with pumping this much my production hit a wall. I noticed a drop around November. I kept at it even when it was obvious no amount of pumping was going to turn the tide (so to speak).

I cut down to two pumping breaks after Christmas and now this week it's dwindled to one. After tomorrow, no more pumping and that will be the end.

It seems harder to give it up this time probably because I know Baby Boy (short of a miracle) is our last baby. I've loved nursing but the pumping I can do without - a love hate relationship in the truest sense.

Yes - I will be happy to have my lunch hours back and return to my regular exercise routines.
Yes - It will be nice to go back to wearing normal bras sans breast shields
Yes - no more odd aches and pains and other minor discomforts
Yes - I did reach my goal

And yet...I'm still a little sad...a little not ready...and a little voice in the back of my head asks if I did enough, did I try hard enough, could I have done a little bit more?

Picture: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Madonna_col_bambino,_palazzo_medici_riccardi,_filippo_lippi.jpg

Dear Al...

...as I type this post the temperature in Des Moines, Iowa is 4 degrees with a windchill of -14. Needless to say, this global warming thing you keep talking about is not really working out for me. Just thought I'd let you know.

Sincerely,

Des Moines Girl

Picture: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:MuseumBellerive.JPG

Culling the herd one idiot at a time

This story proves once again that tigers are dangerous no matter how drunk, high or stupid you are.


San Francisco Zoo Tiger Attack Victim Admits Drinking, Taunting Animal, Police Say

If you've been following this story, then you know the zoo will most likely be sued because the tiger's wall enclosure was 4 feet shorter than recommended. This latest information shows the victims were 50% responsible for their own injuries (and one death) so maybe the zoo won't have to pay out as much in settlement money.


Now before I start getting flaming-nasty-gram e-mails, I did NOT say the victim deserved to die. I just simply stated he was partly responsible for his own death. Let's face it. Bad things can happen to anyone even when you're not doing anything stupid. But I think we can all agree that doing stupid things greatly increases your chances of severe injury or even death.


So...do your best to avoid premature death...don't be stupid.

Just a quickie

This past week has been one crazy day after another. So much to blog about, so little time! Here's a quickie update until I can find more time to sit still.

Why so crazy? Read on...

Work work work; busy busy bee!

Did Patton's troops ask him, "But why are we invading Italy from the South instead of the North? It doesn't make any difference to me."

Did they ask Hannibal, "Why elephants?"

Did they say to Washington before crossing the Deleware, "But I don't want to work on Christmas Eve! Can't this wait until after the holidays?"

I don't mind when people ask questions but what some people fail to grasp is that they are so far down on the totem pole they don't need detailed explanations on every little thing in order to perform each individual task they are assigned.

Corporate America is not a democracy or at least in some cases it shouldn't be. I don't mean to sound like a 1950s managerial throwback but there is value in the "shut up and do your job" approach.

It’s a major award!

No, it’s not a giant leg lamp and it’s not from Italy. It’s a Golden Aardie!!! Many thanks to Aardvark for bestowing this honor.

Here’s the post that brought home the gold. And to think, I owe it all to barf.

Many other worthy bloggers were recognized in this latest Aardie installment. Read their posts here.

T'was the night before Caucus...

Hubby and I will be Caucusing tomorrow. With a race this tight (on both sides), it should be exciting!

We're watching election coverage now. It's kind of fun to see where the candidates and media elite have camped out around Des Moines. Hannity and Colmes and some of the other FOX channel heavy hitters are hanging out at the Racoon River Brewery - a very fun hot spot!

As fun as it's been, we'll both be glad when it's all over. The constant campaign calls and political junk mail has gotten a wee bit old.

So consider yourself warned! After tomorrow night, the candidates are leaving Iowa and COMING TO YOUR STATE NEXT!

Be afraid...