Platinum

Make new friends but keep the old.
One is silver and the other gold.

Had lunch with good friend Nancy Dancehall on Saturday. She was driving from Colorado with her parents and her twin boys back to Illinois for a long family visit. It was great to see her and the family!

Nancy and I go way way back. We met our freshman year at Drake University - 1989 to be exact - and graduation, time and ever evolving family responsibilities haven't changed our friendship, only deepened it. We don't get to see each other very often and it's difficult to have marathon, girl-talk sessions like we used to in college, but when we do get together we always manage to pick up right where we left off.

She is a true friend - one that I know I will keep for my whole life. When we're old an grey, I hope our children put us in the same nursing home so we can spend our remaining years rocking on the front porch and catching up on our girl-talk.

Love ya Nancy!

Confessions of a corporate cog

Had two, back-to-back excruuuuuuuuciatingly long meetings this week (excruciatingly long for pregnant type persons).

One was our weekly team meeting - spent most of the time going over our agenda for our team retreat in two weeks.

Quick! What are 8 letters meaning indifference!
Answer: w-h-o-c-a-r-e-s

I hate team retreats. Too much blah blah blah, not enough action. It seems like we analyze, evaluate, assess and contemplate all the same old questions - questions that don't necessarily have answers - only to come to the same conclusions. These are all things that would be nice to do, change or add but the reality is there are only so many hours in a day, only so many dollars in our budget and only so much influence our group has to turn the wheels of progress.

But persistence is the mother of futility and every year or so we make grand plans to have a team retreat and we rehash it all again. After the retreat, our sense of accomplishment lasts about as long as a sugar buzz. It vaporizes the instant we realize we didn't really DO anything except create more work for ourselves.

Oh sure - retreats can be valuable on some level and I know some people who actually enjoy them. In most cases, a retreat is simply a JOOE exercise (Justify Our Own Existence); meaning write down a bunch of goals and make a list of other things we could be doing to "add value" to prove to corporate heads we actually matter. As I currently need employment, this is a good thing. But I still don't like retreats...and I never will.

Picture: http://www.despair.com/

Pulling my hair out

We went out to dinner Thursday night with mother-in-law for darling daughter's birthday. I really hate going out to dinner with MIL because darling daughter ALWAYS misbehaves. Last night was a typical dinner out with MIL.

PDA not okay
Darling daughter always acts up and doesn't listen to what we say because she knows Grandma will "rescue" her. One of us will try to discipline daughter and get her to sit still, behave, eat her food or stop whatever behavior is unacceptable and then suddenly it's the cuddly-cooing-snuggle-fest-lovey-dove show. Daughter snuggles up to MIL and MIL puts her arm around her and they snuggle and coo and kiss, rub noses...etc...all the time ignoring us - it is really nauseating. It's like sitting across the table from two teenagers making out.

Darling Daughter is old enough now she should understand what is appropriate restaurant behavior. The PDA has got to stop. Of course, Hubby has mentioned this to his mom before and the behavior hasn't changed. :-/ And let me make this clear - I'm not talking about a quick cuddle or a quick peck on the cheek before the food comes, it is close 75% of the time we are sitting in the restaurant.

If we force the issue and break up their love-in, then we are the bad guys. MIL rarely verbally challenges us directly but by allowing daughter to hang on her and cuddle and coo while we are trying to get her to behave accomplishes the same thing. She is essentially saying, "Don't listen to them. You're not in trouble. Grandma will protect you."

Sometimes MIL will say something to us like, "She's just a little girl..." or she's said to Hubby numerous times "Why are you so grumpy?" and "What's YOUR problem?" Our problem is MIL!!! When we are disciplining darling daughter she needs to separate herself! She needs to stop allowing daughter to hang on her and cuddle and coo with her.

Occasionally, she'll repeat to daughter what we've been trying to get her to do but it is always half hearted and timid - no conviction. If she would back us up and say with a more authoritative tone, "Listen to your daddy/mommy!" then maybe I'd feel like we were on the same side. Right now I feel like it's me and Hubby against darling daughter and MIL.

MIL will also feed daughter like she's a baby - picking up sandwiches for her to take a bite, spoon feeding her and such. Hubby said something the other day so maybe this will stop. In the past she’s allowed daughter to eat off her plate instead of insisting darling daughter eat her own food – that is until I put my foot down. For crying out loud the child is five years old and MIL still treats her like she's two!!!

More drama
The bad behavior continued when we got home. By the end of it I was wiped out. Then it was bed time and darling daughter announces, "I want to sleep with Grandma!" (MIL was staying overnight). I said she could sleep in her own bed or sleep in her tent in the living room but she was not going to sleep with Grandma cuz the bed wasn't big enough. I admit - I really just didn't want them sleeping in the same bed. It's not that I think some kind of creepy Michael Jackson thing is going on, but I think MIL needs to cut the apron strings a little.

Well - instead of saying, "Your mommy said no. We can play in the morning," or anything supportive MIL says to me, "I don't mind." Darling daughter hung on to that single statement for the next hour screaming, "I WANNA SLEEP WITH GRANDMA!!!! SHE SAID SHE DOESN'T MIND!!!!" Thanks Grandma. Really appreciate it.

Then Hubby said, "I don't mind if they sleep in the same bed." I told him, "I've already made the statement." To his credit, Hubby didn't fight me on it but then he had to fight with darling daughter to get her ready for bed. The parents finally won the battle but once again we have extra DRAMA because MIL wouldn't back us up.

Hot under the collar...literally
To top it off, it was really hot in the house Thursday night. Thermostat batteries were running low so the air conditioning wasn't keeping up. Hubby replaced the batteries but it still took most of the night for the house to cool off. I was so uncomfortable I gave up and tried to sleep on the couch in the living room (cooler on lower levels) but still had an awful time. At one point I was sleeping on the floor thinking that would help. Finally, at 3am it was cool enough I went back upstairs. Hooray! A whole 2 and 1/2 hours in my bed before the alarm goes off.

Friday morning I couldn't get out the door fast enough. Darling daughter was home with MIL all day and I just couldn't stand being in the house any longer than necessary.

MIL stayed over again Friday night (not my idea) but thankfully we had a drama free evening. Better news – darling daughter’s birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese this morning went very well – no drama or upsets. All the kids had a great time!!!

But the best news of all is MIL went home shortly after the party and I have my house back and I can enjoy the rest of my weekend.

I know I'm hormonal and I know I'm tired and I know I have a lot of emotional baggage when it comes to my mother-in-law but I really don't think it's too much to ask that MIL knock off the cuddle fest when we are trying to discipline darling daughter.

Picture: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Scream

Time warp

My "baby" turns 5 years old today. She'll start kindergarten this fall. Where has the time gone?

Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly flow the days
Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers
Blossoming even as we gaze

Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly fly the years
One season following another
Laden with happiness and tears

-Sunrise Sunset, Fiddler on the Roof

Long story short - funny ending

I inherited a suitcase full of magic tricks from a clown who is retiring. I found a can of "Fancy Salted Nuts" inside. Knowing exactly what it was, I handed it to darling daughter and asked if she could open it. She could tell by our giggles and big smiles there was something funny about the can (smart girl). So she started laughing and couldn't open it. I had to help her. The snake that jumped out was pretty funny!

Should I ask my mother-in-law to open the can next time she comes over? *wicked laughter!* :-)

Picture: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:SnakeNutCan.JPG