Children of a lesser cube

*Exasperated sigh!*

So I’m all unpacked and mostly settled into my new cube at work. My “new” cube is exactly like my old cube except for one teeny-tiny irritation. Everything is backwards! My new cube is a mirror image of my old cube, which means my phone is now on my left instead of my right. The door is to my right instead of my left. My files, my bookshelf, my filing cabinet, where I put my day planner….EVERYTHING! is opposite! Guh!

It does have one small, unintended upgrade. I have a window next to the door of my cube. Relax – it’s just a small glass panel built into the cube wall. What makes this so interesting is the window is considered a luxury, a benefit, a “perk” and it is only for SENIOR titled employees.

The person who was in the cube before me was SENIOR titled. I am titled but not SENIOR titled and technically should not have a window. When corporate services moved my boxes they were suppose to reconfigure my cube and take out the prized window. They didn’t. BUWAHAHAHAH!!!!

Hark! What crap through yonder window flies?
Now my department is in a bit of a pickle. Chances are corporate will bill our department to have the workmen come back and fix my cube. So the question is….will the powers that be let me keep the window to save money? Will other employees complain that I’ve been given this accolade without having earned it? A petty thing to be sure but this is Corporate America and my having this window as a titled (not SENIOR titled) employee is breaking the rules.

Only time will tell. I predict some very Dilbert-esque encounters in the near future - might make for some interesting blogging. Stay tuned!

Picture: http://www.ifurn.com/bush_WC8427A.html

Book meme

Barb the Evil Genius tagged me so...here it is!

1. One book that changed your life:
Well…I guess first I have to say the Bible. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without it. As far as other books, no one immediately jumps to mind. I believe you keep a little bit of something from everything you read. Wait – I did think of one…A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Wolf. She says every woman should have a room that is entirely hers that she can go to and read, study, create, write…whatever fulfills her passions – a room that is part retreat and part work space. I say that’s pretty good advice for anyone – male or female.

2. One book that you’ve read more than once:
There are a few, The Picture of Dorian Gray, To Kill a Mocking Bird, The Red Badge of Courage....the phone book?

3. One book you’d want on a desert island:
Treasure Island. You know, for the irony.

4. One book that made you laugh:
Don’t Stop the Carnival by Jimmy Buffett

5. One book that made you cry:
The Horse Whisperer….the first couple chapters that describe the accident. I had to put the book down and cry for a little while. I read it shortly after my folks had to put my horse down for colic.

6. One book that you wish had been written:
It doesn’t matter what’s it about – just give me more Hemingway please!

7. One book that you wish had never been written:
The DaVinci Code was the biggest, steaming pile of overrated horse poo I’ve ever had the misfortune of reading. I also have to add When the Wind Blows by James Patterson. I like Patterson – he’s a good writer – but I thought this one was almost an embarrassment compared to his other books.

8. The book you are currently reading:
The Sun Also Rises and A Passage to India. I think I’m going to have to start over on A Passage to India – only a few chapters in and I got away from it and now I’ve lost the storyline.

9. One book you’ve been meaning to read:
I have a whole list of books – a lot of classics I missed reading. I really need to read Moby Dick. I’ve read it all except for the last few chapters. I had to read it and give an oral report in high school. I ran out of time and had to read Cliff Notes to find out what happened so I could give my report. I swear this is the only time I used Cliff Notes!

10. Now tag five (I’m tagging six!) people:
Nancy Dancehall, JT, This Pastor’s Wife, Myutopia, The Laughing Frog and Irrelephant!

Special K not so special...burf!

The funny taste on my cereal this morning was not my imagination - it was the milk. YEEEAAAAAAACK!!! Remember what I told you about dairy products? (see #3) I guess I won't be buying any more pints of milk from the deli downstairs. Two cinnamon Altoids and a Diet Coke later and I finally got the taste out of my mouth.

Yeah - really good start to my morning. My "Sour K" episode came after I spent 20 minutes on the phone with IT about a computer problem.

And to round out a perfectly putrid day, I am in the process of packing up my cube so I can be moved to a new cube. (…hoo-rah…) I hate packing… At least it’s an opportunity to throw stuff away.

Two days back in the office and my post vacation bliss has already worn off. Waaah!

UPDATE: For all the cube dwellers out there, check out this link for your Cubical Survival Kit!

http://www.ryanmail.net/cubeguy/order.htm

A wink and a nod to Barb the Evil Genius!
Thanks Barb!

Okoboji - Day 2

We tackled Arnold's Park today - did it all and then some! Here are some pics.

West Okoboji Lake - pretty sailboats in the distance.

Darling daughter kind of, sort of, was okay riding the ferris wheel. It was her first time.

We didn't do the lake tour this year - too many rides little girl wanted to try at the amusement park. Maybe next year?

There was a tractor parade - not sure why. It's Iowa, I guess.

Little girl liked the train. Who doesn't like trains?

Headed home tomorrow - wish we had a couple more days.

Dateline - Estherville, Okoboji, Milford, Spirit Lake...

Here we are in Estherville, Iowa about 20 minutes from Okoboji. The high speed internet in the hotel is a dream! We still suffer from dial up at home.

Our vacation so far…

Friday Night – relaxed after the drive; gave little girl a dip in the hotel pool – she had a great time with the floats we bought her – gaining confidence in her swimming.

Saturday – drove in to Okoboji. Did some swimming at Emerson Bay; ate lunch at O’Farrell Sisters; drove to Milford and did some souvenir shopping at Three Sons (had to get an official t-shirt to commemorate the trip); grabbed a bag of cookies from Hey! Good Cookies in Spirit Lake and headed back to the hotel; dinner at Mother Natures in Estherville and another dip in the hotel pool.

Observation – parents must not bring toys with them when they come here because twice, TWICE today we pulled toys out for darling daughter – first at the beach and then at the hotel pool – when suddenly we were inundated by other children trying to take her toys away and play with them. Made little girl just a tad paranoid when strange children swarmed around her and tried to grab and play with her toys. I’m all for sharing but for crying out loud! Daddy came to her rescue and put a stop to the interlopers.

Tomorrow we’ll head to Arnold’s Park for some rides and mini golf - might hit the beach again too; still planning on doing a little fishing before we head home on Monday.

Useless Freakin’ Trivia (UFT)
A few things about Estherville you may not know…

1. Estherville, Iowa was settled in 1856
2. In 1879 a meteor fell north of Estherville that weighed 774 pounds. Parts of it are displayed in museums around the world.
3. The word “blizzard” originated in Estherville. It was first printed in the Estherville Vindicator on April 30, 1870.

Picture: The picture is all mine baby! Finally figured out how to take digital stills with the video camera.

Okoboji Dreaming

Tune: California Dreaming
Apologies to: The Mamas and the Papas

All the cubes are brown - All the cubes are brown

And the walls are gray - And the walls are graaaaay!

I just had a rotten – I just had a rotten

Stinky poopy day – stinky poopy day

I just wanna scream – I just wanna scream.

And then I'd be okay - And then I'd be okay

Okoboji dreaming - Okoboji dreaming

On such a poopy day!

Heading to Okoboji, Iowa tomorrow for a long weekend. Hope to blog while on the road.

Later dudes!

Crickets chirping....

Hmmm....That last post was about as popular as sand in your bathing suit.

So here's a picture of my parents' donkey instead. His name is Bugs. He is fuzzy and sweet and says HEE HAW really loud when he's hungry.

We took this picture last weekend when we drove to Minnesota to visit my folks. Little girl had a great time brushing Bugs and feeding him treats.

IMO

When it comes to my family, you never have to ask for our opinion because chances are we’ve already given it to you.

Dantares (http://dilettante-engaged.blogspot.com/) asked a question yesterday that covered a topic I hadn’t spouted off on yet.

Poll
Who holds an opinion on the current actions in Lebanon, the West Bank and the Gaza Strip and what is it?

It was like waving a piece of raw meat in front of a pit bull. I posted my humble IMO which I copied and reposted below…not because it is particularly insightful, more because I am lazy and had really nothing else worthwhile to say.

Say hello to Dantares and post your own IMO. Check back for what I am hoping will become an interesting dialogue.

Dantares - hopefully you won't regret posting your question. ;-)

###

This is the latest round of fighting in a 58 year war to oust Israel. Since 1948, there have been several attempts by their Arab neighbors (directly or indirectly) to run Israel out of town. Syria and Iran pull the strings behind the scenes and support Hamas, Hezbollah and the Aqsa (spelling?) Martyrs Brigade to organize attacks in Israel's own backyard.

In this latest round, Israel gave up "land for peace" but all these groups did was use the land to move their base of operations closer to Israel for more attacks. They attack - Israel responds.

So...IMO... Israel has the right to defend itself (what choice do they have?) but also has the responsibility to limit civilian casualties when possible - difficult when their enemy hides in and among civilians and then cries foul when innocents are killed. It's a mess that won't be solved until these groups lay down their arms and recognize Israel's right to exist.

Too darn hot

We're hiding out in the house today. Temperature is expected to reach 96-97F with a heat index of 105 - 110F. The lights are off (where possible) and the shades are drawn to help maximize the cool. It's like we're in a house of mourning.

The new swing set we built yesterday sits in the backyard. Darling daughter will have to wait until things cool off this evening to go out and play. When it's this hot, it's dangerous to be outside.

Things could be worse. I could be in Baghdad.

(Hi JT! - what's the weather report from Iraq?)

Titanic coffee

We had a department outing today – one of those team building exercises where we cube dwellers get together and find out we are actually individual people instead of just cogs in the great machinery known as Corporate America.

The cynical side of me (yes – there is a cynical side…a sarcastic side too) usually doesn’t think much of these things - “mandatory pep rallies.” You put the word “mandatory” in front of anything and you pretty much suck the fun right out of it. But…having said that…I must admit I had fun at this one. The fact it was all on the company dime didn’t hurt either.

We went to the Science Center of Iowa to see the Titanic Artifact Exhibit. I’ve always been fascinated with the story of Titanic and the exhibit was top-notch. When you enter the exhibit, you are given a ticket with the name of an actual passenger with some bio information. At the end of the exhibit, you find out if your passenger lived or died. I am happy to say - I lived. My passenger was a woman traveling in first class and if you know anything about the story of Titanic you know those two facts greatly increased the chances of survival.

The one thing about the exhibit I found puzzling was the gift shop. They had all kinds of Titanic souvenirs – hats, books, shirts, jewelry, coffee mugs…and coffee. No joke – Titanic whole coffee beans roasted and ready for grinding. My fellow writers and I just couldn’t resist coming up with some taglines…

Your morning will be full speed ahead with Titanic coffee!

While waiting for your rescue, enjoy a cup of Titanic coffee!

Damn the iceberg! Have a second cup!

…etc…etc…etc…

But the real kicker was when we considered the possibility of drinking Titanic coffee …over ice.

And then this occurred to me...

Enjoy a cup of Titanic coffee (hot or over ice) while you ponder the morality behind the cheap exploitation of human tragedy all in the name of making a quick buck. Guaranteed to keep you up at night.

It was kind of funny but then again...

Picture: www.wikipedia.com

UPDATE: Okay - I have to admit. This was pretty funny!

http://www.angryalien.com/0604/titanicbunnies.html

Thanks Kerner!

A Meme You Can't Forget...
I’ve had this one for awhile – required a bit of thought as you’ll soon see.

A wink and a nod to Nancy Dancehall.

I know ~ change is inevitable.

I believe ~ with all my heart, soul and mind.

I fought ~ with God and sometimes still do.

I am angered ~ by ignorance.

I love ~ a good book.

I need ~ a change

I take ~ it one day at a time.

I hear ~ music in my head.

I drink ~ not nearly enough.

I hate ~ manipulation games.

I use ~ humor as a weapon and a shield.

I want ~ to shake the dust off my feet.

I decided ~ to let it all go but I keep trying to take it all back.

I like ~ the smell of spring.

I am ~ free.

I feel ~ trapped.

I left ~ a part of me somewhere else.

I do ~ what needs to be done.

I hope ~ for a change for the better.

I dream ~ of the ocean.

I drive ~ too fast.

I listen ~ with my heart.

I type ~ other people's words - most of the time.

I think ~ I have a purpose.

I wish ~ I was better at writing this meme.

I compensate ~ by faking it.

I regret ~ little.

I care ~ deeply.

I should ~ be working.

I am not always ~ content.

I said ~ yes.

I wonder ~ if you're bored yet.

I changed ~ with God's help.

I cry ~ when I need to.

I am ~ a work in progress.

I am not ~ perfect and I know I don't have to be.

I lose ~ nothing of real value.

I leave ~ this world for a better place.

100 things to eat in Iowa before you die

What a tasty assignment this would have been! The Des Moines Register has compiled a list of 100 "best eats" in Iowa. Here are the first 10 (alphabetical by location) to wet your appetite.

Click on the link to read the entire list for yourself.

100 things to eat in Iowa before you die

1. Taco Pizza, Happy Joe's, locations across Iowa

2. Sweet corn, Sweet Corn Festival, Adel

3. BBQ Ribs, Claxon's Smokehouse & Grill, Altoona

4. Sauerkraut Salad, Colony Inn Restaurant, Amana

5. Rhubarb wine, Ackerman Winery, Amana

6. Schild Brau Amber, Millstream Brewery, Amana Colonies

7. Sauerbraten (beef marinated in a sweet and sour sauce, made with spices and Amana wines) with potato dumplings, Ronneburg Restaurant, Amana

8. Saucy Southerner Sandwich, Hickory Park, Ames

9. Chicken Tequila Fettuccine (Chicken, onions, peppers and tequila-soy cream sauce on spinach fettuccine), Aunt Maude's, Ames

10. Denver-Style Crust Pizza, The Great Plains Sauce and Dough Co., Ames

Picture: #74. Blue Cheese, Maytag Dairy Farm, Newton, The Des Moines Register

Fashion disasters

I think these pictures from Paris prove that France is just plain confused.



Picture #1: Ummmm..... A dress made out of hairy pink jello? I haven't a clue.



Picture #2: LADY! LOOK OUT!!! THERE’S SOMETHING ON YOUR HEAD!!!


Picture #3: Playtex introduces its new super dooper, deluxe, ain't-nothing-getting-through-that-baby, absorbent maxi pad.



Picture #4: Only the French could turn an exploding head wound into a fashion statement.



Picture #5: Years of bitterness followed the failure of her music career. Despair slowly ate away at her soul until Cindy Lauper was transformed into…
THE EVIL LOBSTER LADY WHO WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD!!!

BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Picture #6: Fashion is fun! Look how much fun this model is having, “Kill me NOW!”



Picture #7: Proving once again it is never too late to find true love, it is my pleasure to introduce to you….Mrs. Darth Vadar.


Picture #8: Disney Princess on crack?

For more wacked out drug-induced fashions, click here:
http://news.search.yahoo.com/search/news?ei=UTF-8&p=galliano&fr=&c=news_photos

Rockets red glare...

We just watched the spaceshuttle Discovery launch. What an awesome sight! Godspeed to our astronauts.

Happy July 4 everyone!

Discovery Blasts Off

Picture: www.drudgereport.com

Artsy fartsy

I was one of the poor schmucks who had to go to work today. The office was so quiet we decided to go out for lunch. We headed over to the East Village of Des Moines - a newly revived retail area full of lots of expensive boutiques, art galleries and specialty shops.

After lunch at Noodle Zoo, we walked around and poked our heads into a few places. I usually don't make spontaneous purchases but this time I actually bought something.

$79 peasant blouse?
$160 beaded skirt?
$180 garden ornament made from pieces of broken china, glass beads and the ends of silver spoons?
$1,800 custom made wooden wine rack?

Nah! My artsy fartsy and oh so glamorous purchase was six potato nails from the upscale kitchen store, Kitchen Collage. At .75 each, they were the only things I could afford.

10 more things I've learned

1. Never get into an argument with your significant other as to who has the crazier parent unless you think your parent is the craziest.

2. The louder and more often you say, "I'M NOT CRAZY!" the crazier you look.

3. The expiration date on a milk carton is not written in stone. YEEAAACH! (this can apply to all dairy products)

4. The problem with being a nice person is when you are uncharacteristically mean, people take offense. If you are a mean person and you have a day when you are uncharacteristically nice, people are grateful. Perhaps the lesson learned here is to lower everyone else's expectations.

5. Honesty is the best policy unless you are the guy standing on the street corner holding the sign that says, "Why lie? I need a beer."

6. If you want to feel more acutely the passage of time, have children.

7. The last one to smell the dog poop is usually the one who has it stuck to his/her shoe. (literally as well as figuratively speaking)

8. Ironically, reading beauty/fashion magazines on a regular basis will make you feel ugly.

9. The glass is half full = optimist
The glass is half empty = pessimist
The glass is fuller than I thought it would be = Lutheran

10. Dieter's Math: It always takes three times longer to lose the weight than to gain it all back. (!$#@!&*!)

Domesticity

If you are a regular reader of my blog (I think there are three of you), you know I sometimes struggle with the dual nature of my personality. My inner Murphy Brown and inner Donna Reed (the women in my head) do not always live harmoniously together.

I think that is why I enjoy reading blogs written by full time homemakers. If I can't be one, then I can at least read about it, feed my fantasies and maybe some day (God willing) I might be able to be a full time homemaker myself.

Which of course brings me to the reason for today's post...

Thanks to a tip from Favorite Apron I came across a new blog - HomeLiving Helper: http://homeliving.blogspot.com/.

Two posts caught my eye:

The Harmless Housewife
I am a Stay-At-Home-Wife

Lady Lydia and Mrs. Alexandra write very openly and honestly about the joys of being a stay-at-home-wife, and how homemaking is becoming (has become?) a lost art in today's society. I really enjoyed reading their posts.

And I have to agree with them - homemaking has sure taken more than its share of black eyes over the last 30 - 40 years.

HT: Favorite Apron