Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Attack of the lime jello marshmallow cottage cheese surprise

There's plenty to go around! Don't be afraid to take seconds.

It's a pink and frothy, froo-froo girly drink
The mango martinis at the Star Bar are really quite tasty! Just enough alcohol taste to keep you from slamming it but still oh so smoooooooth! It would be dangerous to slam it - you'd choke on the orange slice.

Woman - heel thyself
After a summer of wearing slides and sandals, I'm dressing like a grown up again at work and wearing heels. A word about heels - no matter how experienced you might have been at one time, the longer you go without wearing them, the greater the learning curve once you finally put them back on. It's starting to come back to me - they make me feel "swishy." (No - I will not give you the definition of "swishy." If you can't figure it out, you lack imagination.)

Young whipper-snappers
All my pop cultural references are too out of date for the 25 almost 26 year old new guy in the department.

DMG: "Felix Unger...You know, from The Odd Couple....Jack Lemmon?...Walter Matthau?..."

New Guy: (blank stare while shaking head) You lost me...

DMG: (smacking hand to forehead) Never mind...just hand me my walker.

"Budget Gourmets" are work of devil
The reason why they are "budget" is because they don't spend enough money on the freakin' packaging so every time you take it out of the microwave you burn the @!%&*! out of your fingers. Budget Gourmets can only be served at one of two temperatures - 1) frozen in the middle or 2) hot enough to remove the skin from the fingertips of unsuspecting communications consultant.

Budget Gourmet is an oxymoron but I guess the name "Cheap slop we threw into a cardboard box" didn't test well with the market research group. Oh - and everything they make can be described as "noodles and sauce." I don't care if they call it "penne pasta in marinara" - it's still just a microwaved noodle and that is not a good thing. They throw in the occasional mystery meat for variety, "It looks like chicken...it is reminiscent of chicken..." but you really don't want to continue along that thought process if you know what I mean.

Thought for the day
Life is one long series of events that reinforce just how stupid you really are with occasional flashes of brilliance. I am waaaay over due for a flash of brilliance.

Odds and ends (mostly odd)
Oh...and one more thing... I started clown class last night (no, I didn't lose a bet). More about that later...

Gross jello picture from http://www.swankola.com/md/jello/jell01.html

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

The truly sad part is that the Odd Couple actually predates _your_birth by 5ish years, so your pop culture references are _really_ old. :)
Of course, I had a guy in the store looking for a biography of Russell Simmons. I had no idea who he was talking about. I'll leave it to you to do the research. You might be able to converse with the FNG.
O

Des_Moines_Girl said...

Hey O!

For the record - not ALL of my pop culture references pre date my birth. ;-) I am just very well rounded when it comes to UFT (useless freakin' trivia).

Russell Simmons? I'll have to look that guy up.

Rick said...

DMG - based on your thought of the day, it sounds like we are all in "clown class" every day. Honk, honk!

So, the new kid wouldn't understand "It's a twister! It's a twister!", or "It's good to be king". He is missing out on a lot.

Just say "Nee" to him. It should freak him out.

Des_Moines_Girl said...

Hey Quipper! I'll do better than that. I'll tell him to -

"Publish this article and then BRING ME A SHRUBBERY!!!!"

Any bets on how many times his head will spin?

BUH-WAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!

Gracious Acres said...

Let's find a way to bottle that "flash of brilliance" . . . I'd pay just about anything to get me somma that right now. Just a little "umph for my mojo."
BTW, Russell Simmons is the pioneer of rap music, uber-producer, and he's in his 40's. Previously married to Kimora Simmons (Baby Phat clothing line). Anywhoooo...