Mommy magic

I wanted to have a picture of a magic wand or something for this post. Warning! When you Google "magic wand," you come across some very innnnnnteresting things that have nothing to do with magic in the traditional watch-me-pull-a-rabbit-out-of-my hat sense. Yikes!

The morning started off quietly - had my coveted second cup of coffee, read the paper, picked up the kitchen, vacuumed a little. Hubby was outside doing some much needed yard work and little girl was watching cartoons.

I finished up the last of my mommy jobs and glanced at the clock. It was about time I started to get ready. I needed to meet the other clowns at the hospital about 12:30 and I hadn’t showered yet. I’m getting faster in my transformation from mommy to clown but it’s not really something you want to rush through – take the time to do it right, as Mr. Rogers always used to say.

All I want for Christmas is a sensory deprivation chamber
Enjoyed a nice hot shower with only the sound of water raining down on me – no, “Honey, where’s my….” or “Mommy? What are you doing?” Bliss! But nothing lasts forever. I cracked open my clown makeup. On cue, darling daughter appeared in the doorway.

Mommy? Can I watch you? What’s this? What’s that? I want this. I want that. Can I sit here? Will you get me my stool? I need to go potty. What are we eating for dinner? What day is it?….blah blah blah blah blah blah blah….

…sigh…

By now Hubby had finished the yard work and came upstairs. He shooed little girl out so I could have some peace and quiet. Then he sat down and suddenly it’s the flip side of the same record.

I cleaned up the back yard. Couldn’t do the hill - ran out of yard bags. I was thinking we should have brats for dinner. Thought they sounded good. What do you think? Do brats sound good to you? When do you need to leave? When will you be back? INSERT RANDOM SPORTS TRIVIA….blah blah blah blah blah blah…

…double sigh…

Putting on clown makeup is not rocket science. It’s not like I’m performing complex algebraic calculations (can’t do that at all; X = hell if I know) but it is the first step to getting into character so it requires some focus – mental and physical. It’s also when I start to get nervous. My hand shakes a little when I draw the lines on my mouth. Not really a good time for distractions.

Surround sound
I finished my makeup, got dressed and headed downstairs. I wasn’t hungry (nerves) but figured I better eat something before I left so I ate a hotdog with a knife and fork and drank a diet Coke through a straw so I wouldn’t mess up my makeup.

DAUGHTER: Mommy, are you a clown?

HUBBY: Iowa plays Minnesota today...

DAUGHTER: Do a magic trick! Do a magic trick!

HUBBY: Then Michigan and Ohio State play…

DAUGHTER: Are you nervous?

HUBBY: Should be a good game. I hope they show the sousaphone dot the “I”…

DAUGHTER: Where are you going?

HUBBY: That’s a huge tradition….SPORTS TRIVIA…SOMETHING ABOUT A DEAD GUY…

DAUGHTER: Mommy, can I go too?

HUBBY: When you get back, I’ll go to the store…

DAUGHTER AND HUBBY: …blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah….

I sat between them and listened and responded to two different conversations simultaneously, while in my head I practiced some of my clown gags.

Multitasking - without a doubt, it's gotta be the best magic trick I know.

Hospital clowning went just fine - had a lot of fun. Next month - clown caroling!