Somebody let me off this peace train!

Don’t’ get me wrong. I don’t like war. But sometimes the whole peace movement gets really hokey. I give you Exhibit A – reprinted here in its entirety for your convenience along with my running commentary.

Des Moines Register – Sept. 22, 2006
Peace Fair features music and multicultural themes

Organizers hope to 'mainstream' the idea of world harmony using arts, games and even a maze.

Peace isn't just the absence of war. That's the message that the American Friends Service Committee hopes to get across Saturday with the help of music, food and a labyrinth at Des Moines' first Peace Fair. The event at Gateway West Park downtown is an ideological offshoot of the United Nations International Day of Peace, which was celebrated Thursday around the world.

Hmmm...and we all know what a stellar reputation the United Nations has for preventing war. Ask anyone living in Darfur, the West Bank, Lebanon, Israel…should I go on?

"We see the Peace Fair as an opportunity to celebrate peace as a goal for which we can all strive," said Kathleen McQuillen, Iowa program coordinator for the American Friends Service Committee. "We hope to mainstream the idea of 'peace' with our Earth and in our communities through the arts, cooperative games and information tables."

Maybe instead of dropping bombs on Islamic extremist we should drop Yahtzee. I'd like to suggest a few games for the Peace Fair - Risk, Battleship, Axis and Allies...

The event will spotlight traditions that encourage peace in many cultures, ranging from songs sung by Argentinian Sol Varisco to Buddhist prayer flags created by Tina Manbeck of Des Moines. Manbeck, 56, owner of Blue Cove Naturals company, said she made 108 of the cotton flags, which bear the colors blue, white, red, green and yellow to reflect the elements. Traditionally, the flags are stamped — with focused intention — with symbols that represent protectors, or with mantras.

You've got to be kidding me...

The flags at the Peace Fair have been left blank, Manbeck said, so people can write their own messages.

I guess they weren’t kidding.... How about, "I surrender!"

It's not enough just to be for peace, she said. You need to practice it. That's not easy in a time like this, she admits, where merely sending an e-mail with the single word "Peace" has sometimes garnered her an angry response.

Okay – call me crazy…But if you want to promote peace and you know from experience that sending Peace e-mails make people mad...then maybe you shouldn’t do that any more. Just a thought.

"War is an outcome of how you view the world, of looking at it as a violent, scary place filled with the other. By acting peacefully and interconnectively, we can at least abate some of the violence and some of the anger and some of the fear."

No - war is the result when one group of people tries to kill another group of people and the second group of people stands up and defends themselves. War is the first step in preventing the collapse of a sovereign nation and the genocide or enslavement of the people living within that nation. Looking at it from that perspective war can be a good thing. War may suck but peace on your knees with a gun to the back of your head is not cool either.

Mikel Johnson hopes she can help people find their way to a greater appreciation of what peace means — literally. Johnson, 59, a Des Moines diversity consultant, is in charge of the labyrinth at the Peace Fair.

Diversity Consultant? I must have missed that one at the job fair... Maybe I could bill myself as an “Are You an Idiot Consultant.” Give me $50 and I’ll tell you if you are an idiot or not. Cash only.

The 42-foot-square canvas path will be created in the Chartres style, patterned by the one at the Chartres Cathedral near Paris. That labyrinth, a spiral pattern divided into four quadrants with 11 interlocking "circuits," was used by pilgrims seeking to find their way closer to God.
I don't know....mazes usually just piss me off. The only thing in the center of a maze are a bunch of angry people who can’t find their way out.

In the center, Johnson said, is a place where people can sit and meditate on whatever truth they're seeking.

Whatever truth they are seeking? Truth is relative? Doesn’t that philosophy go against the very definition of what is “truth”? I’m getting pissed off just reading about it. Explain to me again how this promotes peace?

The labyrinth at the Peace Fair has more of a social than a spiritual focus, Johnson said. "It's there for people to make whatever journey they want. It's generally about renewal of our society and ourselves."

Oh...I get it now! It's a pointless exercise that makes people "feel" better but is completely devoid of substance or intellectual debate.

When people emerge from her labyrinth, Johnson hopes they have a better understanding of peace as a way of life.

Assuming they emerge at all! What if they get lost in there and have to fight each other for survival? What if it turns into a Lord-of-the-Flies-Donner-Party kind of thing!?!?!? Seems counter productive to me. Here’s a better idea – take bets on who actually makes it out alive. That would make it much more interesting. You could call it a “Rest in Peace Maze” – two men go in, one man comes out. Any takers?

Picture: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Peace_symbol.svg