France talks trash

In an apparent attempt to prove it's not just a bunch of cheese eating surrender monkeys, France announced on Thursday it would be ready to use nuclear weapons against any state that carried out a terrorist attack against it. In response to the announcement and after several minutes of unrestrained laughter, Al-Qaeda released a statement of its own from Osama Bin Ladin, "Yeah, right!"

Upon hearing France’s proclamation Great Britain, always polite even to the point of absurdity, coughed loudly and tried to change the subject, while Germany and Italy snickered loudly behind their hands and then whispered together, occasionally pointing in France’s direction.

France defends right to nuclear reply to terrorism : http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060119/wl_nm/nuclear_arms_france_dc_2

The threat of getting attacked by France is about as menacing as getting into a slap fight with "Carson" from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. It really is pathetic - France's reputation for shirking and shrinking from combat is so widespread they can't even be taken seriously when they threaten to nuke someone.

Here’s what President “Black Jack” Chirac had to say:

"The leaders of states who would use terrorist means against us, as well as those who would consider using in one way or another weapons of mass destruction, must understand that they would lay themselves open to a firm and adapted response on our part,"

“Firm and adapted response” I’m sure this just means France would get huffy.

He continued, "This response could be a conventional one. It could also be of a different kind."

Handing Paris over to the Germans in World War II was a “response of a different kind” but I don’t think that was terribly effective.

Chirac, who is commander-in-chief of the armed forces (try saying that with a straight face - I dare you!), said all of France's nuclear forces had been configured with the new strategy in mind and the number of nuclear warheads on French nuclear submarines had been reduced to allow targeted strikes. It was the first time he had so clearly linked the threat of a nuclear response to a terrorist attack.

"Our country's security and its independence have their price," Chirac said.

…as long as it’s being paid for with the blood of Americans.