I choose the salmon mousse

In a classic Monty Python skit, a dinner party is interrupted by a visit from the reaper, The Grim Reaper. The guests are stunned when The Grim Reaper announces somewhat casually they are all dead. One woman asks, “How is it that we could have died all at the same time?” After a dramatic pause, The Grim Reaper points menacingly at…the salmon mousse! The hostess is embarrassed beyond words and is forced to confess she used canned salmon.

Death by salmon mousse is witty and sophisticated. The botulism does give a slight aftertaste, but it goes down smoothly and is delightfully paired with a buttery chardonnay.

Dr. Eric R. Pianka’s choice of death is the Ebola virus – a slow and tortuous death which ends with the liquefying of your internal organs. Death occurs when you “bleed out.”

Meeting doctor doom

Besides being a complete and total whack job, Dr. Pianka is also a radical environmentalist. He claims the only way to save the Earth and reverse the environmental damage is to reduce the human population by 90%. In his opinion, the airborne Ebola virus would be extremely effective and would do the job quite nicely.

Don’t get me wrong – I like trees and clean air and water just as much as the next guy but I still put the needs of humans before plants and animals. We already have environmental terrorist groups like the Earth Liberation Front (ELF) torching SUV dealerships and new home construction. Do we now need to worry one of these groups might act on his suggestion?

I think I would still prefer the salmon mousse…