Ten things I've learned

1. Never get a new hair cut when you're in a bad mood.
2. Never go clothes shopping when you're retaining water.
3. Never use red wine to make cheese fondue.
4. Never use Miracle Whip to fry chicken.
5. Good advice is still good advice even if everyone else thinks it 's old fashioned.
6. The longer you stare at your butt in the mirror, the larger it will look.
7. If you leave an apple in the refrigerator long enough, it will eventually liquify.
8. Find the funny - if you can laugh about it, then it wasn't all that bad.
10. If you nuke a marshmallow peep in the microwave, you will get a giant, mutant, peep (which is really cool).

11. Bonus!!! - "Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." - John 16:33