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Conversations I would rather not have…...with my mother-in-law while waiting for my daughter’s dance rehearsal to begin.
MIL: I don’t want to be a meddlesome mother-in-law...
DMG: But...
MIL: Can I suggest something to you and not have you get upset?
DMG: It depends on what you’re going to say.
MIL: Well,…it’s your alcohol bottles.
DMG: (quizzical look) They’re in the laundry room in the basement. We don’t let darling daughter go down there.
MIL: Not those - the ones in your kitchen.
DMG: (confused) ...The ones in the turn around cabinet?...
Point of clarification - we have a bottle of raspberry schnaptz and a bottle of peppermint schnaptz that were brought up to the kitchen and then never made it back down to the laundry room. Daughter is never left unattended in the kitchen long enough to get at them and she has been taught to stay out of mommy's cabinets - she is four years old after all.
MIL: Yes...
DMG: (cautious - sensing trap about to close) Okay…
MIL: You really should put them up high. Darling daughter could get at them and it wouldn’t take much for her to get alcohol poisoning.
DMG: (silent stare)
MIL: (while patting my leg) I really don’t care how much you drink but you really should put them up high in a cabinet where darling daughter can’t get at them.
DMG: They aren’t usually in the kitchen. We can’t put them in a higher cabinet because there isn’t any room in any of the other cabinets.
MIL: (condescendingly) Like I said, I don’t care how much you drink I just thought you might want to move them.
Mercifully, at this point there was a change of topic but in my head the conversation continued…
And furthermore, why are you going through MY cabinets in MY kitchen and just exactly what are you implying with the, “I don’t care how much you drink…” line?!?!? I didn't think three beers in a MONTH qualified me for a 12-step program!!!!
And she laments to hubby that we don't have a closer relationship. Gee - I wonder why?!?!?
Picture: http://www.everybodylovesray.com/html/fun/bestof/marie_pancakes.html
13 comments:
Watch Everybody Loves Raymond? I'm imagining Marie.
That's because she *is* Marie.
Irony - MIL does not drink but is the reason why so many others do.
I'm thinkin' it's time I had a little "private convo" with MIL.
So is it OK that I let the boyos unload beer into the fridge?
O
Thank god she isn't related to me. I think both my parents - and my mother has been teetotal since my elder sisters conception - would have been axe-happy murdered by her...for good grief - my parents method for teaching responsible drinking was a small amount of whatever my Dad was drinking - hence a sherry glass of red wine at dinner since I was about eight or so.
It's strange. The least responsible drinkers I know are those with too-strict parents with a lock on the liquor cabinet.
Congrats for holding your temper - I don't think I could have under such provocation - which is what it really seemed to be aimed at, dressed up as advice.
Dantares.
"I really don’t care how much you drink but you really should put them up high in a cabinet where darling daughter can’t get at them."
GAAAAA!!!!
*SLAP*
*muttering unladylike foulness under my breath*
Thanks all! It feels good to vent. Here's what I'd like to tell MIL:
"We don't drink nearly as much as you think we do and after our conversation on Wed. I'm beginning to think I don't drink nearly enough. In either case, it is none of your business and we'll keep our stash of booze wherever we damn well please. We taught Emma to stay out of our cabinets and it's time you learned the same."
And when I tell her this I think I should be drinking a G&T.
What do you think? ;-)
Don't forget to add, "How did you run across the bottle? Were you looking for a drink yourself, hhhmmmm?"
Lol. Just dump all your empties in her back yard!!!! then go round and raise your eyebrows:
"I'm not sure I should be taking my daughter..." lol.
Revenge.
Dantares.
*snicker!* Nice suggestions!
Maybe from now on when she comes over I'll just announce loudly (for anyone in the room to hear) "Now remember - stay out of the liquor cabinet!!!" And say it with a big smile!!!
Tee-hee! ;-)
I can commiserate, only in my case my mother rather than my mother-in-law would be the one saying such things. And my mother wonders why I'm not talking to her right now.... My husband and I were both taught "responsible drinking" by not having it locked up as well. Although I wasn't exactly given any as a child, unless you count my mother rubbing whiskey on my gums when I was teething!
Hi Barb!
Your mom rubbed whisky on your gums? Wow! Does it really help with teething or just give a kid a buzz so they forget about their gums hurting?
Thanks for stopping by!
You know, I'm really not sure which answer is correct! I guess I always thought it dulled the pain. Now my Italian grandmother-in-law's remedy for teething was a sugar cube tied in the corner of a handkerchief. That? Pure buzz!
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